The Summons

They say music is the language of the soul. Textual language is sometimes inadequate in fully expressing what goes on in our hearts and minds. This week, I realised that music was the only thing that kept me going and kept my spirits up. Whether I am surviving on little hours of sleep, feeling frustrated or troubled, music never failed to soothe me, lift me up, rejuvenate me and strengthen me. Music is how I pray to God when I have no time to set aside for prayer. During mass, it was the hymns that really moved my soul and provided the meditative atmosphere for prayer. It was the lyrics that really spoke to me and made me tear. 

However, what I really wanted to share is this:  

The recessional hymn for today's evening mass was The Summons. I never really liked this hymn and usually just gloss over it without much thought. This evening however, somehow the hymn moved something deep inside of me. What struck me most was the lyrics. For the first time I realised how deep, meaningful and beautiful the words were. 

I notice that it is filled with questions. God doesn't TELL or INSTRUCT us, he merely prompts us gently with questions. He leaves things open-ended, it is up to us whether we choose to answer Him. Even if we don't, He wouldn't condemn us, He'll still love us all the same. Certain phrases struck out to me, and I highlighted them in green.

*****

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name? 

Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?  

Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,  

Will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?  

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?

(Leave my OLD self behind? Leave all that truly matters, all that I hold on to behind, just like the way the fishermen dropped their nets and followed Jesus? Can I really do this?)

Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?  

Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?

(The first thing that came to my mind was: How can our life attract, or worse, scare? Then I realise that how we treat others reflects our faith. If we lack love, then it is evident in our interactions with those around us--a life without love, compassion or kindness is scary. On the other hand, a life filled with love, compassion and kindness is very attractive.)  

Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

(I think this line is so beautiful. God is saying He can answer that prayer in us, AND we can answer His prayer to us, if only we let Him)  

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?  

Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?  

Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,  

and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

(Sometimes I find it so difficult to tell people how much my religion, my faith, Jesus/God means to me. I am so afraid of the "hostile stare")   

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?

(profound... still trying to understand this sentence)

Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same? 

Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,

(Will I use it? Or will I keep it inside of me, like the bible passage about keeping a lit lamp covered so no one sees the light? It's so much easier to do nothing, than to have to "reshape" the world)

through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me? 

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.

(True?! What is true?! what is right or wrong? How do we know if your summon really echoes "true"? Is it when you call our name?) 

Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.

In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show. 

Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

*****

On another note, when I stepped out of church, Chris dropped a bombshell on me when he told me I was nominated for Youth Council! After the initial disbelief and shock, I shelved it aside and didn't give it much thought. I was thinking people probably weren't thinking seriously when they nominated my name. However, later that night in the adoration room, I was reflecting on the news broken to me by Chris. I was asking God what I should do. I was flooded with anxieties, fears, doubts, apprehensions, and unwillingness, much like what I felt during EXCO discernment. Then, the hymn The Summons came back to me, and I felt this strange sense of comfort descending upon me. It was there and then that I knew that whatever decision I made, God will be there to support me and see me through. What was most important was faith and trust. It wasn't so much of whether I am ready to serve in YC, but whether I was ready to be open to His plan, to be receptive to whatever calling He has, whether I was ready to trust, to believe, to have faith.

This entry is not so much about the YC nominations. Rather, it is about God's call, God's summon to us as Christians, as His disciples. Our calling is not confined to our ministries or our religious service. It is our values, principles, lifestyle, the way we interact with others. To accept this calling is to "never be the same". It is crazy. It is radical. It is painful and difficult. We get persecuted along the way. We get ostracised, rejected, sidelined, strange stares, sniggers; we get questioned, challenged, put to the test. But the Lord's call remains open and inviting. Are we ready to answer His call? Are we ready to "never be the same"? Only you (with the help of God) can answer this :)

To those who have been nominated, let us keep praying and discerning God's will and be open to whatever He has in mind for us. To my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, let us also think about how we can be God's witnesses not just to fellow Christians, but indiscriminately to everyone. :) 

Also, please keep the nominees in your prayers. I think the new YC is very important in revamping Nativity's Youth scene, so it needs as much prayers as it can get :)